To show you how much I love you, Arthur
by primRose123
Summary: Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt to breathe? So much that it hurt to look at them because they're just so beautiful? It's the most painful feeling in the world. Because there is no word for this kind of love.
1. My god he's beautiful

Ch1- My god he's beautiful

_Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt to breathe? So much that it hurt to look at them because they're just so beautiful? It's the most painful feeling in the world. There are no butterflies or tender loving moments, no, there are cold chills and the bitterness of knowing nothing you can ever do will ever be enough. Nothing will ever be enough to show what you feel for this person. _

When I look the beautiful green eyed blond lying next to me I know I'll never be able to describe my love for him.I ran my finger tips along his porcelain cheek. His skin was pale and perfect. I trailed my fingers up word toward his hair and wrapped a few blond strands around my index finger and then watched it all fall back into place. His eye lashes were long, dark, and thick. They cast shadows over his cheeks. His lips were parted ever so slightly as warm breath past through them. I watched the even rise and fall of his chest.

Just the look of him made my heart race. My god he was so beautiful. I guess I felt a little awkward in a way, me, Alfred F. Jones, being so love sick was unusual. I'm known for not caring for anything but a chocolate shake and a hamburger. Now it all meant nothing. I'd let go of almost everything. Arthur mattered though.

Even though we fought…a lot, I loved him so much. I made him cry all the time. Hs tears used to have less of an effect on me but now….feeling so strongly for him….his tears make me want to cry. It's like a knife. I hated when we fought, so did he. Arthur didn't like to argue. It always resulted in him kicking me out and me wondering around the city for hours and then going back home to make up. It was a repeated process. The only part I cared for was the "making up"

I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Even a kiss on the cheek was turned sensual. I could taste him. It was like the taste of his skin seeped through my lips and lingered on my tongue. Even if I never once opened my mouth, I could taste him.

I sighed and climbed out of bed. The cherry wood floor was cold against my bare feet. It sent shivers up my back and I drew my arms around myself. Arthur always says that if I'd wear socks to bed, I wouldn't have the problem with the floor being so cold. But I hated the feel of socks under the covers. It was bad enough that Arthur refused to sleep bare foot and I have to deal with the feel of his socks against my skin. Which was highly irritating.

The kitchen wasn't any warmer. My lover insisted on the house being nearly 67 degrees all year round. This sucked for me because I do hate the cold. A sigh past through my lips and I sat down at the table and rested my head in my hands. Sometimes I had to leave the room just to catch my breath. This time I had to sort out what was said during out fight before Arthur fell asleep, so I could apologize when he woke up.

I thought back on it for a second, it had happened just a little over a half an hour ago.

"_You're always late you, git"_

"_I'd think you'd be used to it by now"_

"_Why can't you just show up on time? Don't I mean anything to you?"_

"_Of course you do"_

'_I just sat in that restaurant for a freaking hour and a half waiting for you and you never showed" _

"_Arthur I'm sorry, I love you"_

"_Shut up and leave me alone"_

My blue eyed gaze shifted toward the ceiling. I hadn't meant to stand him up. I was up late and thought if I took a nap id be a little more pleasant during our date, but I over slept….and missed it entirely. I was supposed to meet Arthur at a restaurant during his lunch hour. I really hadn't meant to upset him…..again. It just seemed to be something I was good at.

I bit my lower lip and stared down at the mahogany table in front of me. A certain familiar pain filled my chest as I remembered the tone in his voice. I hated when he said stuff like "don't I mean anything to you?" and all I can think when he says it is "you mean the entire world to me" I just don't know how to show it.


	2. beautiful just isnt the word

Ch2- beautiful just isn't the word

"Alfred" the sound of Arthurs voice forced my head up from where I sat at the table. He was standing there rubbing his green eyes with his fists. I laughed softly. He was wearing my black t-shirt and it was falling off of his left shoulder, exposing the pale skin hidden beneath it.

"Hey" I smiled at him trying to put off another argument.

He yawned but tried to sound serious anyway "I wanna know why you didn't show"

I held back a slight laugh, he was just too cute "I fell asleep" I said bluntly.

He crossed his arms, not bothering to fix the sleeve that was falling off his shoulder. His blond hair was a mess and he still bared a hint of restlessness in those magnificent green eyes. My blue eyes trailed down his slender body. From his blond hair to the socks on his feet. I sighed "you can't keep standing there like that"

He raised an eye brow at me "Oh? And why is that?"

"Dude cause ill jump you" I stated with a smirk.

"So crude" he muttered "what kind of saying is 'ill jump you' and your using the word 'dude' again" he began lecturing. I stood and kissed his lips stopping him in mid-sentence. He tensed as I wrapped an arm around his slender waist and placed my other hand on the side of his face. I felt him loosen up a bit when I moved my hand from his cheek to his hair and my fingers tangled in the blond strands. Again I could taste him though the kiss even though neither of our mouths were open.

It wouldn't stay that way. Just a hint of his taste and I wanted more. I deepened the kiss, pulling him closer. He placed his hands on my chest and ran one of them up to my shoulder. His kiss wasn't sweet or loving; it was more hungry and harsh. Like I said before: this kind of love isn't filled with butterflies and warm fuzzy feelings and there are no tender loving, or sweet moments. There are only chills and bitter moments filled with empty promises.

No one could make me mad like Arthur.

No one could make me feel such violent emotion. There were times during kisses where I wasn't sure if I wanted to push him against a wall and sink my teeth into his skin just to taste him or if I wanted to hold him close just to be near to him. He broke the kiss, I never did, I couldn't, and at times I felt like a kiss from those perfect pale lips was more important than breathing.

"I forgive you" was all the Brit said.

I smiled "you still look tiered" I gingerly brushed his bangs away from his face with my fingers. He sighed shoving my hand away "oh shut up, you ware me out and you bloody well know it"

I caught his hand in mine "your cold to" I felt a rush flow through me at the simple feel of my Arthurs skin.

"I'm perfectly fine"

I pulled him against me and wrapped my arms around him. Right now I just wanted to hold him near to me. In about five minutes I knew that it wouldn't be enough. I knew that violent emotion would come pouring out of me and id slam him against the wall and ram my tongue down his throat. It still wouldn't be enough to show how much I wanted to be close to him. It never was. It was so frustrating because nothing was ever enough. If I had him lying in my arms in bed he wasn't close enough. If he kissed me after a fight it ended to soon even if it lasted until we were both gasping for breath.

If I said he was perfect or beautiful in every way it wasn't enough unless I went into detail about every little thing. Like about how his hair feels like silk and falls back into place whenever it's moved. Or like how he smells vanilla and strawberries. Id have to tell him that I could live forever staring into his beautiful green eyes.

Even that wasn't enough because then I'd have to go into what all of that dose to me. I'd have to tell him that the touch of his hand makes me feel like my skins on fire. I'd have to tell him that I love the look of his face when his lips are raw and bruised and his eyes are bright but hazed over. It still wouldn't ever be enough. I'd have to say all that just to make the words "you're beautiful" fit him.

"Come back to bed" he said softly.

"Take off the socks?" I asked.

"No" he said leading me by the hand back to our room.

I climbed under the dark blue comforter and white satin sheets. Arthur huddled up to me and wrapped himself around me so our bodies were wrapped around each others. He wasn't the most affectionate but I know he feels like I do. I know he wants to be close to me to the point where he'd become part of me if he could. He is a part of me. He has no idea how big a part of me he is. He rested his head on my chest and laid his left hand on my stomach. I smiled staring at his beautiful, beautiful face. The moonlight in the window lit up every delicate feature of his face. The way his eyelashes cast dark shadows over porcelain skin, the way his lips pursed just before parting to allow his warm breath to pass through them.

I could watch him sleep for hours if I wanted. Sometimes I did. Tonight I loved that he was wearing my shirt. I loved how it hung off his shoulder. I felt the cloth of his socks against my leg and for a second I stopped looking at his face. I squirmed a bit. The feel of his sweat pants didn't make me all that happy either. I preferred him naked, yes that was true but is it too much to ask that he doesn't wear sweat pants and socks to freaking bed?

He muttered something against my chest I didn't quite catch. "Hm?" I mused running my fingers over his exposed shoulder.

"I said stop squirming" he muttered sleepily.

I yawned "well you know I hate the feel of your sweat pants and socks and yet you insist on pressing both of them against my skin"

He climbed up on top of me and smirked at me through the darkness "No, I insist on forcing you to strip me"

I chuckled and placed my hands on his hips "such a tease' I muttered.


	3. I need you every waking second

Ch3- I need you every waking second

I yawned waking up a little later than usual. I yawned looking at the alarm clock to my left. It read in bright green 12:10 "Arthur" I called scratching the back of my head as I walked down the hall and to the right toward the living room. He wasn't on the couch reading like he usually would be so I walked out back to the garden out back. He wasn't at the table drinking his afternoon tea. After about twenty minutes of looking everywhere I finally decided to call him.

He answered on the third or fourth ring "hello Alfred"

"Yeah, hey where are you?"

"Right now I'm with Francis "

I bit my lower lip "why?"

Arthur sounded irritated now "because he's my brother as well Alfred, also it seems he's a bit heartbroken. Called me a crying mess this morning. Ivan left him last night"

"Ya' know I still have no idea how the two of them winded up a couple. It still kind of creeps me out" I stated bluntly.

"Alfred case and point Francis loved him and he is in pain. Were an odd couple to you know. Would you cry if I left you?"

I bit my lip and said "no"

I heard him sigh in irritation just before he hung up. I rested the phone on the charger and whispered to thin air "I would die"

In a way I did feel bad for Francis but…..in other ways I hated him for Taking Arthur away for the day. The saddest part is I know how selfish I am….Francis needs him and I'm mad because I want him here with me. It's not like I don't need Arthur myself…he's my world of course I need him.

I sighed knowing he probably wouldn't be home until tomorrow so I got up and took a quick shower. I wasn't used to showering alone I was used to Arthur getting in with me. So even the shower felt long and dragged out. Come 5:00 pm I might as well have been dead. I'd been laying on the couch, staring at the front door basically all day long, wishing he'd walk in.

When 8:00 pm came around I stood up and changed into my plaid pajama pants and black t-shirt. Then just as I was pulling the t-shirt over my head I caught the sweet scent of strawberries and vanilla. It was the shirt my lover had worn to bed last night. I pulled it up over my head and held it out in front of me.

The memory of the way the left sleeve hung from his shoulder made me smile. I laid down and rested the shirt on Arthur's side of the bed. A soft sigh passed through my lips. I missed him I wouldn't say I didn't. I curled up to the shirt nuzzling the cloth with my nose. I closed my blue eyes and somehow I managed to fall asleep without the green eyed blond by my side.

The sound of the bedroom door creaking open forced my eyes open as well. A little ray of light shone in from the hallway and my beloved blond was standing at the side of the bed "Is the shirt the same as the real thing?"

I shook my head with a half cocked smile "not even close" I yawned. The alarm clock read 2:29 am. I watched as the 29 flicked to a 30. I shivered when my lover pulled the covers back and climbed into the bed forcing the mattress to shift from the added weight. Not that he added much weight at all.

I turned over and faced him "are you still mad at me for the comment I made earlier?"

He muttered "Alfred I really don't wanna talk about it right now just be bloody happy I came home tonight. Go to sleep"

"Excuse me" I shot up from the bed and glared at him where he laid "I should be bloody happy you even came home tonight huh? YOU ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE ALL DAY LONG"

He sighed in irritation and sat up "he needed me Alfred I had to go and spend the day with him he was hurt" he was trying to remain calm I could tell.

"I need you. EVERY FREAKING DAY. EVERY WAKING SECOND I NEED YOU" I hissed.

He rolled his eyes "I am tiered Alfred, let me sleep"

I threw the sheets back and got up out of bed "you'd be happier with someone else anyway"

"Alfred F. Jones where the bloody hell is this coming from"

I yelled "I don't know according to you were an odd couple. Apparently so were Ivan and Francis and I bet Ivan's happier without Francis"

The blond stood and crossed the room "damn it Alfred shut your mouth if you don't know what you're talking about" he grasped a handful of my hair forcing my head down to his face level so his mouth could attack mine.

"How could I be happy without you, idiot….' He breathed "You're my Hero"

I kissed his lips once more. Though his lips were still raw and bruised from the night before last. He kissed back as eagerly, as hungrily as he always would. He slept in my arms that night. I laid awake admiring his sheer beauty. He was perfect….but like the word beautiful perfect just wasn't a strong enough word to describe my precious Arthur.


	4. why

Ch4- why?

The next day had been extremely long. We woke up fighting about Francis again. I couldn't help but feel jealous of the man. He once held my Arthur in his arms…..they dated for an entire year before Arthur and I got together. I sighed and rolled my eyes in his direction. He was sitting across from me at our dining table.

"Stop being so bloody immature"

"I am immature" I yelled "and damn well proud of it"

He stood up "Only you" this time he rolled his green eyes in my direction.

I stood up "I'm sorry if I get a little jealous when you go and spend all god damn day with your ex boyfriend"

He shook his head "you honestly think I'd cheat on you? I NEVER ONCE CHEATED ON YOU ALFRED" he raised his voice so it echoed in every room in the house. I looked away uncomfortably. "Now Alfred I know I said I wouldn't bring this up ever again but your leaving me no choice, I have more trust for you than that and you have cheated on me"

Again I looked away "I know I did"

The shorter man walked up to me and began softly stroking my cheek with his pale fingers. I didn't blush or smile. I shivered his touch sent chills up my spine and his eyes met mine "I only love you, Alfred. I promise"

_But this love isn't filled with butterflies or sweet and loving kisses…only bitter chills and empty promises._

I shook my head "of course"

"Now I'll be back later" he whispered. I nodded and hugged him tight.

Again he didn't come back until late. He stumbled in a drunken mess. I hated when he drank. "Arthur" I whispered rushing him into my arms as he stumbled toward me.

"Why do we fight so often" he said slowly.

"You're not drunk because of the damn fight" I hissed "you're drunk because you brought up Gilbert and me and it brought back the memory"

He was clinging to my gray t-shirt now "why'd you cheat on me….was I not enough" I felt his tears on my shirt now.

I strung my fingers through his hair "You're more than enough, you're my everything"

He gazed up at me with a longing look in his tear filled green eyes "show me…" was all he said before dipping his tongue into my mouth. I half gagged on the taste and smell of alcohol. I got used to it fast and lifted him so his legs were wrapped around my waist. I felt his fingers tangling in my dirty blond hair. I kept an arm around his waist to hold him against me and placed my other hand on the back of his head forcing his lips against mine as hard as possible. I backed against something made a loud thud noise. The wall I think. My tongue tangled around his and a soft whimper erupted from the back of his throat.

I woke the next morning lying next to a naked, sober Arthur. He was beautiful pale and bathed in the sunlight shining through the window. The white satin sheets draped around his legs and lower waist. His hair was a mess against the pillow and his lips weren't parted like they usually were. Instead they were pressed into a gentle line. I leaned over and pressed my lips to his cheek. Again I could taste him against my lips and pulled back.

"What would I do without you" I whispered.

I stood up and pulled on my plaid sweat pants and walked down the hall. On the living room floor laid Arthurs green jacket and I walked over and picked it up. Then I walked to the kitchen and grabbed my gray shirt up off the counter. Arthur's pants were on the hall way floor and mine were in the bedroom. I finished picking up our clothes and throwing them in the hamper.

"Gahhhhh" my lover groaned loudly from the bedroom.

"Head hurt?" I snickered standing in the door way.

He nodded against the pillow "mhm"

"That's why you shouldn't drink" I sat down on the side of the bed and softly stoked his hair with my fingers.

"Well my ass hurts to, does that mean we shouldn't have sex?"

I chuckled "now I don't know about that"

He looked up at me "lay here with me today?"

I nodded "of course"

It was one of those good days. One of those days where we laid in bed all day, wrapped up in each other's arms. Barley talking at all. Sometimes that was for the best because conversations between the two of us often resulted in a fight.

He fell asleep, his head rested on my chest. He was dreaming I could tell because his cheeks were pink and he was muttering about something. I gently brushed his hair with my finger tips. So soft. I watched the strands I moved fall back into place. Simply beautiful.


	5. Goodbye

Ch5- goodbye

"ALFRED" my lover yelled jerking me awake.

"Hm?" I mused.

"Gilberts here for some reason"

I yawned and sat up pulling on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans "hey um Gil, what are you doing here" he was standing in the door way wearing a red t-shirt with black skinny jeans. He ran his fingers through his white colored hair and sighed "can we talk"

My blue eyes shifted to Arthur who was standing behind me with his arms crossed over his chest and a pained look in his green eyes. I stepped aside to let Gil inside.

He grabbed my wrist and walked me back to Arthur's office at the end of the hall way across from our bedroom. He sat down on my lover's desk and folded his hands in his lap. He looked down at the floor through a curtain of lashes as he began to fumble with his thumbs "Alfred, I want you to leave him"

I sighed and swung the computer chair around so its back was facing him and then through a leg on either side of the chair so my feet were spaced apart on the floor and my chest rested against the back of the chair and my head rested on my hands at the top of the back of the chair. "Why would I do that Gil? We had one night together, and yeah it was great but I love Arthur more than life its self"

"He doesn't love you the same way you love him, Alfred"

"Yes he does, I know he dose"

"If you're so sure of his love for you why were you with me that night anyway?"

I looked away from his eyes "you know damn well why"

He smirked "because you hurt him, you couldn't bear to touch him but couldn't control yourself and so you came to me"

_The memory of the bruises that covered his face….his raw lips….the bloody bite marks on his neck and shoulders….. The welted scratches that ran down his chest….._

"I didn't mean to do that to him" was all I could think to say.

Gilbert stood and yelled "YOU COULDN'T BARE TO LOOK AT HIM, YOU WERE SO ASHAMED OF WHAT YOUD DONE. ALL FOR THE PERSUIT OF PLEASURE RIGHT?"

I stood up kicking the chair over "It'll never happen again I lost control, damn it"

He chuckled "you couldn't control yourself then, your no different in fact your worse. Next time Alfred, you'll _kill_ him" those words resounded in my head as he walked out of the room and then vanished out the front door.

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT" strong arms fell around my waist from behind. I could feel his tears seeping through my shirt. I wasn't sure how much he'd heard or what he'd seen or how long he'd been standing there.

"Arthur" I whispered placing my hand over his where they over lapped at my stomach.

"You idiot, that day, that's why" I could hardly make out what he was saying he was crying so hard. He sounded as if he were going to hyperventilate at any moment. "I didn't care about those stupid marks. I love you, you idiot" he sobbed moving his head against my back "those marks were just marks that's all. I wasn't mad about any of it. I loved every second of it. You were claiming me as your own, Alfred don't you understand by now" he whispered through his tears "I just wanna be yours?"

I pulled him around to my front and hugged him close "I know I'm an idiot" I said as his arms fastened around my waist. I let him hold on to me for a long time. Then the words _"you couldn't control yourself then, your no different in fact your worse. Next time Alfred, you'll kill him" _rushed through my head.

The rest of the day was quiet. We didn't speak much. He fell asleep on the couch wearing my black t-shirt and his sweat pants while reading one of his many favorite books. I sighed and lifted him into my arms bridal style. The book fell to the floor with a thud. I walked back to the bedroom and laid Arthur down and covered him up. He stirred a bit in his sleep.

I smiled at him and opened up our dresser and started to pull out all of my clothes. The room was dark all except for the moon light shining in the open window. I walked out to the living room with my clothes in my arms and placed them in a plastic bag. I had no choice. I wasn't sure I could live with myself if I hurt him like that one more time.

For about an hour I waited on the front porch until Gil's car pulled into the drive way. I sighed and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Was he upset?" he asked as we pulled out of the drive way.

"He doesn't know" I said quietly in a tone that was very unlike me.

As I stared out the window the road seemed to just rush by in flashes of gray. The street lights were just blurs. The only sound was the blare of the song playing on the radio

**_Don't be afraid to cry  
>It wasn't wasted time<br>We just couldn't win that fight  
>And I knew you couldn't stay<br>You had to go your way  
>There's really nothing left to say<em>**

"I'll miss you, Arthur" was all I said as I closed my eyes and let a silent tears slip down my pale cheek.


	6. Moving on

Ch6- moving on

I guess it wasn't hard for Arthur to guess where I had gone. Not even an hour after we left my cell phone was blowing up with his ring tone.

"Hello" I said softly

"Where the hell are you Alfred? With Gilbert?" he was yelling, not crying.

"Y...Yes" I whispered.

"Listen up you asshole, as soon as you get home-"I cut him off "I'm not coming home, Arthur"

"What are you talking about? Of c-course you're coming home" I heard his voice crack.

"No, I'll never hurt you again"

"You only hurt me when you left me" he was sobbing.

"Arthur, stop crying"

"Should I laugh? Just forget it you bloody bastard" he yelled "you claim to love me, you're not even here with me. You left me to stop hurting me? What a dumb ass idea, you're worst in fact" he was sobbing and a horrible pain filled my chest "It's fine Alfred, were done. I'm done. Goodbye"

I stared at my feet. That night seemed long. The nights that followed were long and lonely as well. I mean, yeah I slept with Gilbert a few times. It's not the same as loving Arthur. It never would be. I didn't realize how miserable I was until I went to a local bar and saw them hand in hand.

My beloved blond was holding the hand of the prince of creeps. Francis. I sat down on a stool and a sigh passed through my lips. Sure a horrible pain was clutching at my heart. I had no right to be mad….I left….it's my fault.


	7. im not jelous

Ch7- I'm not jealous

I sighed staring across the bar at my beloved blond where he sat laughing (drunk) like a child in the French mans lap. It almost hurt me to see him like that. I hated when he drank so that hurt enough…what hurt more was the way Francis had his arms wrapped around his waist. I looked at the bar tender.

"You want anything?" he asked.

I shook my head "nah, I don't drink"

I looked at him "aren't you kind of young to be working here?"

He smiled "I'm short I know, but I'm 24" he was pale and his eyes were icy blue. I studied the sweet look on his face.

"You're pretty cute"

He blushed and ran his pale fingers through his dirty blond hair "umm t…thanks…I...I guess"

I smirked and leant over the counter and touched his pale cheek. His skin was soft, as soft as it looked. He blushed a deeper shade of pink and pushed his cheek against the palm of the hand I had held to it.

I leaned closer and ran my tongue along the shell of his ear "tell ya what cutie, I don't want you name, I don't care if ya trust me. But I'll make it good for ya If you come with me now" I whispered seductively at his ear.

"k-kay" he whimpered.

I looked up at the young brunette serving Arthur and Francis "can she hold down the floor while you're gone?"

He nodded "yeah I'm just here to help out"

I grabbed his hand and started to walk toward the door and just before walking out into the parking lot I looked back at Arthur. He didn't look up at me. I'm not even sure he knew I was in the room. "Which car?" the blond asked sweetly.

"The black Honda on the right" I pointed.

Again my gaze fell on Arthur "I really miss your smile, babe. So much" I said quietly and followed the blond back to my car.

Loud moans resounded all throughout the room. In all honesty he was annoying I wanted to tape his damn mouth shut. He wasn't Arthur.

_Next morning_

I woke up first. The blond was lying asleep next to me. He looked plain. I didn't care much for him. His skin didn't glow in the mornings like Arthurs did. I didn't wanna lean over and just hug him to death. I stood up and pulled on a pair of sweats. The floor was cold against my feet, I didn't complain, what was the use? Arthur wasn't around to nag me to wear socks.

**_Arthurs POV_**

A sigh passed through my lips as I yawned waking up with Francis completely wrapped around my slender form. I had seen Alfred at the bar last night….part of me wanted to go and talk to him…..he didn't look like he cared at all. He looked dead at me and just turned to flirt with the bar tender….that….that asshole. I felt tears threatening to sting my eyes. All I wanted that night on the phone was for him to fight me…just one word of protest that said he didn't really wanna go.

I huddled away from Francis and walked into the bathroom. My green eyed gaze shifted toward my reflection in the mirror "god why did I let you go" I whispered as silent tears streamed down my pale cheeks. _I should've driven to Gilberts….I should've done everything I could….to stop him…who was that blond anyway….did Alfred know him? I wondered as my tears fell to tile floor._

**_Alfred's POV_**

_What's so great about him….I know we fought but….god Arthur, I never wanted to leave you._ I curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor and sobbed openly into my large hands "I'm not jealous" I cried. Flashes of my lovers smile and eyes ran through my head….then next came flashes of the French man "I'm not"

**_Arthurs POV_**

I fell to my knees and stared at the full body mirror.

**_Alfred's POV_**

_I left you…._

**_Arthurs POV_**

_I let you go…._

**_Alfred's POV_**

_I made you cry…._

**_Arthurs POV_**

_I pushed you away…_

**_Alfred's POV_**

_I…I…I'm not jealous…..not of him…._


	8. and so the affair began

Ch8- and so the affair began

**_Arthurs POV_**

I glared at the boxes of raisin bran cereal where the mocked me from the top shelf of isle six in Kroger's. I couldn't reach for the life of me. Alfred had always been around to reach stuff I just couldn't. I hated the cereal even more for making me think of the fact that the American wasn't with me.

Not that it wasn't always on my kind anyway. I jumped a final time trying to grab hold of the box. My eyes widened when a hand reach over my hand and grabbed it "Shorty" he said with the saddest smile id ever seen on his face as he handed me the box.

"Alfred" I whispered.

He was pale as always, wearing his bomber jacket and a pair of jeans with holes in the knees. I'd always hated his messy style of dress…..now I hate Francis's dressy style of dress. I missed the look of Alfred asleep on the couch with his mouth wide open and his coat falling off of him.

"Hey Artie" he said quietly…I was almost sure I'd heard his voice crack.

He turned and started to walk away "Alfred" I dropped the cereal box on the floor and half way tripped running down the isle to grab him. My thin arms flew around his waist and he stiffened up "Arthur" he whispered.

"Don't go" I begged and pressed my face into the back of his bomber jacket. "Please don't go" I kissed the center of his back repeatedly whispering "please, please don't go" in between kisses.

He turned around so my head was against his chest and he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

**_Alfred's POV_**

I held him tight against me. His slender frame fit perfectly in my arms as it always had. I kissed the top of his head and inhaled the scent of vanilla and strawberries. "Artie I love you" I whispered against his hair.

He clutched the back of my jacket with his hands and held tight "I missed you, Alfred"

I ran my fingers down his pale cheek. His eyes bared a hint of sadness in them. It swirled around in his green orbs and then poured over his perfect skin in the form of silent tears. "After everything I did to you..." he cut me off "I don't give a damn, pull my hair and ram your tongue down my throat" he said in a demanding tone despite the tears in his eyes. He attacked my mouth with his. I ran my hands up his back. I wanted him, my body yearned for him.

"God, Arthur don't do this to me" I whispered breaking the kiss.

"Why?" he asked clutching the front of my jacket now.

"Because we can't, you're with Francis for one"

He hissed "since when do you care whose dating or who's married. I was with Francis when we first got together"

"And it tore you up to cheat on him" I said pointedly.

He rolled his eyes "Alfred"

"I'm done hurting you"

He grabbed my arm and tugged me out the front doors, leaving both our carts in isle six. Outside it was snowing like a damn blizzard. Why couldn't we just talk inside? I hated the cold and he knew it.

He unlocked the door on the driver's side of his red mustang. "Get in" he glared at me.

"Arth-"he pushed me into the car and it somewhat hurt because my back landed on the council in between the seats and I winced. "Arthur" I hissed. I quickly bent my legs at the knees so my feet weren't in the way when he climbed in and slammed the door shut. He hovered over me so our faces were just a few centimeters apart. I could feel his breath against my lips the same way I could see it in the frosty air.

"Alfred" he whispered and kissed my neck.

"Arthur, please you know I can't control myself"

"Then don't" he whispered running his fingers down my stomach and running them along the rim of my jeans.

"Arthur"

"I love you" he whispered at my ear.

"I love you to; I don't wanna hurt you anymore"

"Then don't push me away" he placed his knee in between my legs and I tilted my head back "Art-"he cut me off with a deep kiss. He whispered "fuck me, now" his hissed in my ear. That was my tipping point I threw his small body into the back seat and shifted out of my jacket and unbuttoned my jeans as I climbed on top of him and rammed my tongue down his throat.


	9. Taking back whats mine

Ch 9- taking back what's mine

Alfred's POV

_"Artie" I yawned as I stumbled down the hall in my baggy American flag sweat pants and black tank top. _

_'Kitchen" I heard him call from around the corner. _

_He was cooking…that made me think twice about turning the corner. Arthur's food made me want to run and hide for weeks at a time. Especially those dried up clumps of bread he calls scones. He turned around and looked at me with the sparking green eyes I usually woke up to every Moring and all I could do was smile. Even if the entire kitchen smelled like something was burning._

My crystal blue eyes opened and I shot up from my bed. Something did smell like it was burning. I leapt up and ran down my hall nearly ramming into the wall as I stumbled into the kitchen. a pan id left on the stove was starting to burn. "CRAP" I groaned.

Well….that was my wake up call. The fire wasn't anything serious. I sighed and sank down in my couch as I flipped through the channels on the TV. It'd had been almost two weeks since the incident at Kroger's. So far every day since had pretty much gone the way that day did. Artie cheated on Francy-pants. Due to the fact I had no one I was committed to I couldn't really be called a cheater. Still I knew how much Artie didn't wanna hurt Francis but he had to realize that there'd be a choice he'd have to make sooner or later.

Maybe I didn't care of Francis got hurt….either way I didn't like sharing Artie. My cell started screaming out the lyrics to the song "London Bridge" by Fergie and I answered it "hello Arthur" I muttered.

"Al, you sound kind of drained what's wrong" his voice was fairy soft as he spoke.

"You love me don't you?"

"Of course you silly git" he laughed.

"I'm serious"

"And you think I'm not?"

I bit my lip "can I come visit you?"

He sighed "no al, Francis is here"

I hung up and threw my cell to the carpeted floor. I was so done with this. I went outside and got in my car. Completely ignoring the speed limit like I was I'm surprised I wasn't pulled over. I managed to get there in about 15 minutes. Francis opened the door and greeted me with that cheesy smile he gives everyone.

"Can I help you" he asked in his annoyingly thick accent.

I pushed past him and threw Arthur over my shoulder despite his protesting and kicking "he'll call you, but either way it's over" I smirked at the blond before carrying the green eyed Brit out the door. I threw his small form into the passenger seat and then slammed the door.

"Have you gone entirely crazy?" he asked frantically as I started driving.

"No, I missed you" I said quietly.

"Al-"I cut him off with a kiss.

"Shut up. We'll talk about it later" I whispered to close to his face he could feel my breath against his lips. I could tell by the way he was blushing.

"Kay" he said quietly backing down.


End file.
